I, like you am on the trek up mount XPages. It has been accompanied by major frustration interspersed with moments of 'that's neat'.
I find the lack of documentation in a single location to be a major shortcoming of the platform. Most of the examples I have found are either so painfully simple that they are of little help to extend them of so ridiculously complex that you need to be an experienced XPage developer to understand.
Having said that there are a couple of resources that I would recommend.
1. openntf.org has a download of an Extension Library that has some very nice extensions to the Core controls, including a couple dialogue controls. However, there is virtually no meaningful help on how to use the controls contained with it.
2. I have found two books that are somewhat helpful at http://ibmpressbooks.com, there is one called Mastering Xpages and another called XPages Extension Library. They both leave something to be desired is helping with 'How To' and are more in the line of a Technical reference, but they are there.
3. Also you can post on http://stackoverflow.com which is dedicated pretty much to the Extension Library.
4. internet search - but I have not figured out how to focus my searches yet.
5. on-line courses. I have had some experience with http://TLCC.com (not a paid political announcement)
6. Down load the Extension Library Demo - will help you with core controls as well
I think the journey will be worth it, I have found that some things that are dead simple in Notes are really obscure in XPages, and some things that are really difficult in Notes are dead simple in XPages. Oh if we could have the best of both.