Paul Hannan just tweeted that there are some answers to this on stack over flow.. So you might want to check there.
I know Matt white had a demo once with this exact custom control in - Save, Edit, Delete. Possibly it was in the first Xpages Show and Tell that he and Tim did. Not sure.
This is something I've wanted to do as well, just not really gotten to it so I don't have any experience to draw on. You can certainly pass the name in via custom properties and then get it back as Michael says.
As I type this I can See Tim Tripcony just tweeted:
<xc:myControl dataSource="#{someDocument}" /> Define the custom property as a dataInterface.
dataInterface is new to me. I've used generic "Object" before.